Most of the childhood experiences I cherish most are those made with my two brothers. Last week, I was wrapping a gift and as I pressed down on the tape to make it less visible, I remembered looking at a similar wrapped gift under the tree before Christmas, many years ago. I was probably 12 years old, and my older brother was giving me instructions on how to open a present using a paring knife and then re-taping the gift so that it looked undisturbed. I remember feeling  excited because waiting for Christmas morning was no longer necessary. I also remember feeling a little guilty, but the impulse was too great to hold back. Ok, the impulse wasn’t too great for my 12 year old self, I really just wanted to be cool like my brother.

Impulse control is one skill that takes years of practice for many of us. It begins in early childhood with the development of self-regulation skills. Children often learn, memorize and can repeat rules when asked. Knowing the rules plays a small part in the action of following the rules. Impulsive actions in children are normal. How you respond to your child in those moments can make a difference. Help your child by offering frequent reminders, and understand that a reminder before school will not last your child all day. It may also be helpful to work with your child’s teacher or caregiver to develop a consistent approach. Children who are able to manage their emotions have greater success in school and as adults. Managing emotions does not mean that a child is always happy or calm, and it is unfair of adults to expect this of children. Parents are a child’s first and most important teacher. Siblings come in a close second.

I have learned many things from my older brother, not all involved sharp objects and making as little sound as possible. He has been a great role model for ‘hard work pays off’, the ultimate in delaying gratification.